“Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but for yourself.”
-Harriet Nelson
One of the major reasons so many Believers don’t live the lifestyle of victory that they should is because many of us are walking around inwardly offended. Yes we have become masters at putting on a “face” at Church when inwardly we are hurt, bitter, resentful and angry because we have been offended by someone or something. Offenses can begin with something as trivial as someone not speaking to you but when entertained the end results can be hazards to your walk with God.
Someone once said that “Anger is just a cowardly extension of sadness. It’s a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you’re hurt.” Some of the definitions of an offense is to be angry, resentful, hurt or displeasured. Holding on to offenses can not only steal your joy, peace and energy but it continuously keeps you bond as a slave to the one who hurt you and allows them to have power over you. Power not only to hurt you once but to hurt you over and over again every time you think about it. When you choose to forgive you are actually setting yourself free from the prison of power that the person who offended you has you captive.
There are many reason why people walk in offenses. For some being offended is the only way that they know how to exist, they have been offended for so long that their identity is wrapped up in the offense. Typically their un-forgiveness is rooted in fear. Fear of if they actually let go of the offense they may be responsible for their own actions instead of letting what has happened to them in the past be the reason for their current behavior.
For others holding on to their offense is due to a “Victim Mentality” thinking that someone owes them something because they have been hurt in life. It is when you accept the fact that nobody owes you anything, not even God is when you will be completely liberated from this mentality. You will give and not expect something in return because you didn’t give it to receive something in return.
Forgiveness is a decision that we have to make daily, it’s a choice. Forgiving those who have hurt us the most has got to be one of the hardest things in the world to do but with God’s help all things are possible. God created everyone with a free will. As Christians we can take control over the negative thoughts and emotions that the enemy tries to flood our mind with by simply making God’s word the final authority in our lives.
Hebrews 12:1-2 says “Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” When we recognized the greatness of what God did for us through Jesus even when our sins were great it’s a lot easier for us to have compassion and forgive those who hurt us. The more we focus on the cross the less power offenses have over us.
I once heard a story about two brothers who both grew up in the same home with an abusive alcoholic as a father. Years later one brother ended up in prison while the other one ended up being a very successful business man. When both brothers were ask the question “How did you end up the way that you did?” both responded in the same manner “Because my father was an abusive alcoholic.”
Disappointments hurts and pains are a part of life but you shouldn‘t let that have control over you. One brother decided that since his father was an abusive alcoholic that is what he was going to be. While the other brother decided that because his father was an abusive alcoholic he was going to be the total opposite. Both brothers had identical experiences but they both choose to channel it differently.
You can allow offenses to take you down a path of un-forgiveness, bitterness and resentment. Or you can take the bricks from that same path and build stepping stones. I encourage you to take a closer look at your life. Are you walking in offenses? It takes a strong person to forgive, Begin placing your trust in God that he will give you the strength needed for you to forgive and grow from your hurts and pains. That they will no longer hinder you but help you become the person that God designed you to be. The choice is up to you.
-Rita



